I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He has the fingertips of a God
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
