I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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