You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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