KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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