I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize