the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
