How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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