Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
