I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
