You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
