She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
