I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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