Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
