Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
