I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
