super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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