You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
