Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
