Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
