all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
