you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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