moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
