You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
