Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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