Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
