i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
