the day after is always just damage control
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
