just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The uberlube is also flammable
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
