i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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