But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
