Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
