if i can run in heels then i can drive
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
sex in a hospital.. check
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
