I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
