another moral hangover. fuck.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
