I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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