hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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