I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
