I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Everything about him screamed your future.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
