Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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