my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
