Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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