this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
