last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
