Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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