If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
