these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
