So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
