i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
