I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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