he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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